Rant

Matthew is generally a happy baby, but perhaps, not the easiest baby. He laughs easily but cries easily too and oh boy, his temper and tratrums are BIG!

Sleep has always been an issue since 2 months old when my mother in law came over to help out. Initially, he can almost STTN, or at least 5 hours intervals when Jenny, my confinement lady was around. However, when she’s gone, for the first few nights, he had problem with sleeping. Being a FTM I really didn’t know what to do. My MIL being like all MIL dotes on the grandson excessively (perhaps more than for his own good) carried him the entire night in order to let him sleep (fall asleep in her arms) – which she didn’t tell me until I found out after a few nights what she had been doing. By then it was perhaps too late.. he already gotten used to being carried and cradled to sleep.

Silly me, instead of changing his habit bad to the norm by cot training him again, tried to co-sleep him instead (to save myself the agony of handling his middle of the night cries). Having my MIL around is constant stress, because if I let Matt cried too long she will just charged into the room and check out on his grandson. Having her around has always been my stressor. Don’t get me wrong, we are on good terms, but when it comes to rasing a child, I think I still prefer having my own personal touch and space and time with my LO instead of having her around (even if she’s not commenting on anything much, having her around just wound me up the wrong way). To be perfectly honest, having her inbetween, I felt horrible! While I really appreciate the help I have, I am super uneasy and stress – I just simply can’t put that in words. Our amazing wonderful relationship has since became awkward because of Matthew. We are unnecessary polite and careful when dealing with one another, no longer like before where we can just speak our minds easily. It’s painful and stressful. I didn’t know why and how it changed, but it did.

Anyway, things because worse as Matt come to 6 months where he starts to experience seperation anxiety. He would refuse to sleep unless he latch! And he simply won’t put in any effort to self-soothe himself, but whenever he stirred (light sleep cycle), he would root for the nipple again, again and again… from waking up every 5 hours to every 4 hours, to 3 hours, to 2 hours … and now… almost every hour. I’m suffering backaches and numb arms from latching for extended period of time. I’m pretty sure, he’s sleep isn’t wonderful too being so disruptive. But what should I do?

I wanna sleep train him, but he just screams and shouts so loudly, crying bloody murder with tears streaming down from both eyes, and mucus all over his face from the running nose… his face would be red, and hair would be wet with perspiration even though the AC’s on. I hate to see him like this, and can’t bear to watch him cry it out like that… Even though I try to pat him, hush him, assure him and speak to him, it just wouldn’t yield any result… He WILL NOT STOP crying unless I pick him up!

I felt so frustrated, and helpless! I really don’t know what to do. No one understands me… Now my MIL will just snore through the night (after helping matthew to acheive the current sleep pattern, oh wow, thanks), and so do my husband. When I look at the both of them sleeping so comfortably while Matthew and I suffer the effects from bad sleep, I am furious! I hate it so much to the point I just wanna them out of my life! It’s so unfair! Why am I the only one suffering?! I am so angry with my MIL that I get pissed off with her in the day for no good reasons and didn’t even feel like talking to her. I’m mad at my husband that I just screamed at him for even small thing he did that didn’t please me. I became so stressed out that who ever woke Matthew up naturally became my enemy – and in my heart I’d curse them!

 I hate myself for being like this but what can I do to get out of this vicious cycle of bad sleep and chronic sleep deprivation? How can I get help? From who? Even my husband doesn’t understand me at all. 

I sometimes hope I could just vanished for awhile to rest..and have some me time.

 

 

 

Baby Matthew’s Newborn Photos

These precious photos were taken when Matt was about 10days old. They were so precious. Even as I look back at these photos now, I am amazed at how much little Matt has growth in just a short span of 4 months. Darling, you looked so different now, you’re no longer a little bubba anymore… but mummy still loves u the same 😀

Darling, mummy is constantly amazed by your every expression. You are so tiny but you’re more precious than the universe to mummy!

You’re an angel sent to us from God. So lovely, so adorable and so loveable! Mummy wish you’ll always be a happy baby, and grow up to be a healthy, generous and God-loving man.

(www.bambiniphoto.sg)

Matthew’s (1st) Full Month Party (满月)!

This is a long overdue post, Matt Matt’s already past his 4th month birthday yesterday! Here I am delaying this post until now.

We didn’t want a 1month party for Matthew initially, however because he’s the first grandson for both the paternal and maternal grandparents, and first great grandson for my grandmother-in-law, we decided to hold a party to celebrate with our loved ones, friends and family.

I find it really expensive to engage a vendor to do up the deco (ps: just setting up a simple dessert table alone would amount to 400$ from some quotes I got online). Hence, I decided to DIY with the help of many lovely friends of ours 😀

Here’s a pic-story about the event – featuring the amazing friends of ours who loved our son as their own 😀

We booked the function room by the pool at my Aunt’s condo @ The Tessarina. It was a cozy place with a spacious function hall, an attached TV lounge area and a private room beside it. It was big enough to hold the 70+ guests that came that day. Led by Matt’s God Papa Junhong, the crew started working on the deco as early as 3pm (our event actually starts at 5.30pm). They were an amazing crew – allow me to boast : we have 3 national shooters – Junhong, Zhangjin & Peishan, one lawyer engineer – soon leong, one KPMG Consultant – Yueqiu, one doctor – Alfred to help out with the decorations! With such an professional team, how can it not be a BOMB!?!

Here’s the result:

Looks professionally set up isn’t it?!

Wanna know where I get all my items for that day? Here’s an run down of it:

Catering – We chose ChilliApi Catering as it was highly recommended by our friends, and it’s Halal, so our muslim friends can take them too. We didn’t use their Baby Shower Package because we find that it’s not really worth it to get them to do up the red eggs and ang ku kuehs for us, better off dying the eggs red by ourselves and getting the angkukuehs at fraction of the price from the market. We preferred to get more dishes instead, hence we chose their Contemporary Ala-Carte Menu. We received many good comments about the food, even my picky parents found them good!

Door gift – I thought I’d like to give something different from the traditional egg, sticky rice, and angkukueh set. Hence, I chose something I personally like, believing that my guests would enjoy them as well – so I went ahead with Jara Petit Cheesecups. We chose their Jars Package and it came with free announcement cards too! Must said it’s quite nicely done up, and of course immensely delicious that some of our guests asked me where can they get them, or if they could get more from us! There were a few flavours to choose from, I recommend Milo and Smores. We got all flavours and found those 2 to be the most popular ones among our guests.

xpr16608_30949554865_o

Fondant Cake – We got the 2-tiered fondant cake from a home-baker mum. My nanny recommends her. Her price were reasonable and she even offer reduced sugar options. My aunt who’s diabetic loves it! Her designs were not as fancy as the commercial ones, but it’s thumbs up for the taste! Interested mummies can get her contact by private messaging me 😀

xpr16609_30832749302_o

Dessert table – My superb confinement nanny baked like 80 chocolate cream muffins for us (love her to the moon and back!). I also got mini tiramisu from Tiramisu Hero. I also got the paper tiered dessert trays from sweetest moments at $5.90 each (so cheap!). Angkukuehs were from a bakery beside a market, and we boiled and dyed those red eggs ourselves.

Decorations – Basically, I gotten all the paper tassels, balloons and hanging stars, ribbons, etc from Q0010, and spent less than $100 for all of them.

Baby Shower e-invitation – I forgotten which website (you can just google free invitation card for baby shower, there’re tonnes of them), but I got the template online and design it online for free! (Budget mummy). Sent this e-invitation via whatsapp to our friends and family.

matthewfminvitation3

Now, here’s some photos of the event taken by my good friend Phyo:

Tadahhh!… Who says you can’t have an amazing party without burning a hole in your pocket? When you have amazing friends like this, you can have one that’s awesome, fun-filled, love-filled and full of smiles and laughters!

BIG THANK YOU for everyone that attend and helped out at the party of Matthew’s one month celebration. Lotsa love and kisses to you!

My labour experience – arrival of our precious little one!

Started on this draft a month ago… but only had time to complete it and post now…

While Matty is “sunbathing” in the hospital (aka. phototherapy for his Jaundice), I am stealing some time for myself, and to blog down my experience with giving birth down. It was too agonising, but too beautiful to be left unrecorded.

How it all begins…

It was a usual Friday evening while I was watching K-drama and waiting for hubby to return from work. Went to the bathroom and then that’s how it all started…

14 October, Friday:
– 2330: First sign of mucus plug (brownish)

15 October, Saturday:
– 0130: Woke up in the middle of the night with mild contraction pains, it felt like mensus pain with interval of 15-20mins.

  • 0230: Mild contractions became more frequent with interval of average of 8mins.
  • 0600: Contractions grew more intense with interval of average 5mins, but it isn’t those paralysing pain. Called NUH delivery suite and they asked me about pain score (which I gave 2/10). The midwife advised me to stay at home for the moment as she did not think my labour has been established yet since I haven’t felt too much of the pain yet. She asked me to call again when my contractions grew more frequent, or, either my water bag burst, sighting of fresh blood… Otherwise, there’s a high chance of me being sent back home if labour hasn’t been established yet.
  • 0930: Contractions average every 3mins. Called NUH again and they told me to come in since 3mins consistent for 2 hours is quite a good sign labour is likely to established already.
  • 1200: Admitted into NUH delivery ward with 3min or less contractions but doc check dilation only at 1.5cm (😭😭😭) despite the frequency! So the doctor as well as our gynae friend, Dr Abhi asked me to walk around and climb stairs to hasten things up since I’m having very frequent contractions (pain score 3/10)
  • 1500: Pain became more intense at 4/10, asked for oxygen gas and thigh injection pain relieve because cervix remained at 1.5cm and I think I’m almost at my limit (which obviously I don’t know where my limit was, yet…).
  • 1800: This wave of pain became even more intense (7/10), with my contraction scales going off the chart, and the gas and injection became rather useless. Dilation finally hit 3cm, so injection of epidural!

TO MY HORROR! Epidural didn’t really worked well with me due to my previous back problem. So the bottom half of my body only partially numbed, my right side can feel almost the full intensity of the contraction pain and my left side felt nothing at all. No choice, told the mid wife and she asked me to try and bear with it for as long as possible as she doesn’t want to me to get too much drugs. The Anaesthetist told me he already gave me 20% more drug per dosage more than they would administer to a normal delivering mum.

16 October, Sunday:
– 0030: I thought I was going to die already to the painful contractions on my “Un-numbed” side which made me breathless. The womb contracts from my ribs down and I can’t even breathe in the Oxygen gas they forced down on me … (can’t breathe due to the pain caused by contractions close to rib or diaphragm, I’m not sure which is which.) Pain was 11/10.

  • 0100: Anaesthetist came and gave me strong dosage of epidural (max limit he can give, 20% higher than normal again and shorten than frequent frequency he allow me to press the epidural button). Pain was gone after a while. I think I must have pressed the button like 8 times or more to increase the dosage…
  • 0200: Due to the higher volume of epidural I got in a short period of time, I start developing a fever. Shivering and shaking… drowsy and unable to move both legs..
  • 0500: Fever still 38.8 degree. But fully dilated and baby head is down low… Fetal heart rate at 170-180+ …Anaesthetist did warn risk of fetal distress due to my high fever and might potentially need to go to c-sec to be safe.
  • 0545: My gynae Dr Citra and her midwife team spoke to me and decided to give it a try to attempt normal virginal birth.

After an hour of pushing, bb Matthew was finally out!!!!!!
Thanks NUH gynae and team of midwife and sisters team 👏👏👏

Most importantly, Thank God for his grace!!! I wouldn’t have done it otherwise! Praise the Lord!

7 Days Sri Lanka – the “gifted” trip begins…

Finally I’ve got the time and mood to sort out the photos for our Sri Lankan trip which was at the beginning of this year. Just 2 weeks 4 days before my EDD – if I don’t do it now, I don’t think I’ll have much free time to even think about doing it for at least the next couple of months.

God works in unexpectedly amazing way that brings pleasant surprises to our lives.

Melvin and I were trying to 避年 (avoid the usual talks about starting a family topic) during CNY – certainly not the topic we wanna talk about especially after the miscarriage not too long ago. Hence, we planned a 7D7N trip  (6-14 Feb 2016) to Sri Lanka during the CNY period this year.

We engaged a personal driver cum local guide, Neel Lambert, to drive us from the North of the country down to the South and back… Yup, I know, it was such a short span of time and we had a lot to cover… probably not the wisest choice, but Mel and I was thinking we’re never gonna come back again (hubby don’t like to re-visit countries, especially when they are not that city-ish) so let’s just try to cover the prominent touristy places will do. Hence, our road trip begins…

We visited Sigiriya early the following morning after taking a brief night rest at a beach B&B in Colombo. While the scenery at Sigiriya was definitely worth the walk and hike, the heat there was unforgiving – freaking 37 degrees scotching sun!

After a stay at the pretty neat Sigiriya Thilanka Resort and Spa for the night, we continue our day 2 of trip to the Temple of the Tooth Relic, before we make our trip down to Kandy to see the Royal Palace of Kandy, Kandy town market, and watched their cultural dance program before we called it a day.

We started our third day with Peradeniya Botanical Gardens and then took a 3 hours drive to the foot of Adam’s Peak for our morning climb the following day. We had an early rest that day as we were told to wake up at 1.30am for the hike up Adam’s Peak the morning morning in order to be in time to catch the sunrise, the weather at the foot of the mountain was cooling around the 20 degrees and it was an easy 3rd day for us.

It’s THE DAY (4th day) of the climb! We dragged ourselves out of our bed at 1.30am. It was rather cold, temperature dropped to below 20. But we dressed lightly as we expect lots of sweat and heat from the long hike up Adam’s Peak ahead. The journey up was tired as the steps were steep, it took us 4 hours to hike up. Caught the sunrise and then went down quickly as we’re freezing by then at the tip of the mountain in our perspiration-soaked tees. The journey down was even more arduous – our legs were already protesting from our hike up and shook uncontrollably the whole way down (about 3 hours). It was an amazing experience nonetheless. Little did I know that, I was already carrying Little Matthew then (about 3 weeks pregnant) – I’m glad the three of us all made it to the top together and down – a whole 8 hours of hard work! 😀 Well done my strong little boy – so strong even in mummy’s womb!

After a shower and brief breakfast at the inn, we left the Adam’s Peak region and head to Nuwara Eliya – commonly known as the “Little England” where it’s surrounded by layers after layers of tea plantations. We were rewarded for our hardwork earlier that morning by luxurious greenery (Tea Castle), waterfalls (Devon falls), and great cooling weather! The hotel we had for night was at the city central of Nuwara, it was really nice and comfy – Grand Hotel, Nuwara Eliya.

After a good night’s rest, we are all ready for our next adventure (5th day) in the city of Tissamaharama , and the main item will be it’s Yala Safari. After a sumptuous lunch at Tissamahara city center, we took a Jeep towards Yala Safari! Among the many animals, we were really lucky to see the Leopard!  (However, my camera wasn’t ready enough to capture a glimpse of the leopard before it sprinted off 😦 ) It was a great adventure, but as it was drought season, most animals we saw looked rather skinny and malnutrition 😦 I hope they can become chubbier during the better seasons.

Melvin and I booked a “Treehouse” for our night in Tissamaharama – Saraii Village. The place is a little difficult to find, and access as it’s pretty inside (from the main road) we drove past it several times before actually finding it after some help from the locals staying around the area. It was a unique experience, rustic but well furnished. The only part that was slight difficult was the “cold water shower” – no heater, no aircon (but was given mosquito net). It wasn’t that bad as it was rather cooling at night. Beware, there’ll be bugs flying outside the mosquito net, and you’re sleeping to the sound of bugs and croaking toads…

We headed towards Bentota for our 6th day of adventure in Sri Lanka. Apparently this place is famous for its beautiful waters – beaches and a large lake, and of course SEA FOOD! Oh man – finally something different to look forward to besides curry and rice for our meals 😀 (honestly, my body was already rejecting curry by day 3). Love the fresh seafood at Bentota – enjoying every meal! We first visited the Galle Fort, along with a couple of Bentota beaches as we drove along the costal area. We manage to caught a glimpse of traditional fishing practices by the locals. We stopped for lunch at Mama’s – apparently a rather famous place for it’s fresh sea food 😀 Slurps!

After lunch at Mama’s we continue our trip with the Mangrove Bentota River Safari where we ducked pass bridges and through into the mangrove jungles. We saw some awesome wildlife and baby crocodiles and watched the sunset on our return back to the port.

The highlight this day was our 1 night stay at Jetwing Boathouse by Yathra! We had the entire boat to ourselves, with our dedicated service crew, security and captain to sail us through the long lake that passes through the city. Totally worth the $$$! Did I mentioned that the seafood meals were delicious too?!

For the last day, we were mainly chilling on the boat and at the beaches in Bentota. Our driver-guide was kind enough to invite us to his house for a refreshing homecook dinner by his wife and mother-in-law. We had a great adventure in Sri Lanka and would certainly miss this place deeply! After all, we were so blessed in this trip – this trip is technically our first family trip together with our little Matthew (in my womb) – our precious gift from God 😀

Thank God for keep us safe and sound 😀

D-day is coming! Third Trimester coming to an end…

Time flew by, and I’m already 37 weeks in my pregnancy! Again, I have to thank God for taking care of me and my little Matthew thus far – you are our Rock, our strength and our shield!

Here’s a 2D Ultrasound of Matthew from week 32 growth scan. It’s getting increasingly difficult to scan him into the 2D screen as he grows bigger and bigger every day… But it’s okay, I’m happy to just know that you’re growing well and healthy and I look forward to seeing you on your birthday my little precious one.

screen-shot-2016-10-02-at-10-48-04-pm

Hello my little one at 32weeks😀 Daddy wanna me to put his baby photo beside your scan to show off that how much u take after him 😀 Mummy love your chubby cheeks, you were skinner at 21 weeks scan, happy to know you’re growing chubbier as the weeks get by !

We did a lot of things in this third trimester, even though my body grew increasingly heavier, and I begin to move much slower compared to Trimester 2. But, guess the maternal instinct and excitement of a first time mum really keeps me going and keeps me active during this period.

We decorated Matthew’s room – not a elaborated one, but one that’s filled with love from mummy and daddy 🙂 I got some cute wall decals from Etsy to fill up the room with colours and make it more like a “baby nest”.

screen-shot-2016-10-02-at-10-53-37-pm

Dear Matthew, we hope you like the room daddy & mummy prepared for you.

Besides working on the nursery, we also went for maternity photoshoots 😀 It’s the first time I bare so much skin in photos… haha! Well, for the memory… I shall not be shy about my fats and be proud that I’m blessed enough to go experience this wonderful journey of pregnancy.

Some unedited photos below … heeeheee… Bambini gave us a good deal and our photographer Melissa was really nice and patient with us. Directing 2 robots to look natural in front of the camera isn’t really an easy job. But we love the photos (though these weren’t edited yet).

 

I’m sure every pregnant mummy would have their own anxieties as they faces the changes in their body, and worrying about the unknown of what the future may brings regarding child birth and kids up-bringing. I had my moments too, somedays, my thoughts would go astray and I became so paranoid and panic about “what ifs” … I guess worrying is part of parenthood. Thank God I’ve a God to turn to when I’m in fear and irrational anxieties…

I love the poem wrote by Pastor Charles Tan at our service today. I thought I’ll just note it down here to serve as a constant reminder to myself to not be a paranoid mum, and that God have everything in perfect control, and all will be well!

I WILL BE WITH YOU (by Pastor Charles Tan @ Bethany Independent Presbyterian Church, Singapore)

There are trials in life that seem like flood-waters,
Dangers abound, and the Enemy gives no quarters
Fear surges and the heart is nearly overwhelmed, 
Who can fathom the despair? Who can understand?

The Lord draws close and He speaks a word of comfort dear,
"Fear not... I will be with you; there is really nothing to fear!
There will be storms but I will calm the angry seas. 
There will be danger, but let your heart be at ease!"

The servant of the Lord lifts up his eyes and to see His face,
But the dark clouds seem to hide His glorious grace!
The servant lifts up his faith and dwells on the LORD,
He is near as he has promised. He is a faithful God!

The waters will not harm; nor will the fire destroy,
The only thing it will burn away is sin's dread alloy!
There is indeed no need to give in to our foolish fears!
The Lord's promise of His Presence will yet bring cheer!

 

Indeed, there is really no need to give in our our foolish fears, for the Lord will be with us! Amen!

I’m Pregnant! – A Wonderful Gift from God

For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him. “So I have also dedicated him to the LORD; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the LORD.” And he worshiped the LORD there. – 1 Samuel 1:27

Pregnancy is a special moment in a woman’s life, at least, for me it’s really special – it’s nerve-wrecking and at the same time exciting. You do not know what’s going on inside you – you’re growing a life! Thankfully, thanks to pregnancy hormones, it’s also the time where your senses became most sharp, you feel more instead of seeing; you can feel and marvel at what’s going on in you that you can’t see. Isn’t it amazing?!

This pregnancy also draws me closer to God. I can really feel that He’s with me at every step and milestone of the pregnancy and assuring me – He knows how anxious I can get, and what a worrier I am.

Okay, we had a miscarriage last year, sometime in September 2015. Tears came as I thought about it. It was one of the most excruciating moment of my life. I prayed to God and put my faith in him in order to pull myself through the loss. God was merciful and good to us, after the loss, he restores my tiresome body from years of being a workaholic and made it even better than before to prepare me for the motherhood to come soon after.

Melvin and I were delighted and surprised beyond words when we found out I was pregnant again earlier this year in Feb 2016! Hallelujah!

Took 2 pregnancy tests at home but as the 2nd line was really faint, I wasn’t 100% sure if I’m really pregnant, plus, it was just 1 day past my menses due date. 
And so, the next day I went to Watson and got this $20+ (very ex! I know, but I needed to be sure!) Clearblue digital pregnancy test, which amazingly was also able to estimate my conception dates. It says that I’m pregnant for 2-3weeks already! Okay… now, we can call and make a doctor’s appointment. 

Hubby booked the doctor’s appointment for me, pulling his strings within his medicine friends to find “the best” female gynae he could in NUH for me. (There’s another story why he prefers NUH, which I would elaborate in the future when I have the chance). Thus, we enrolled as private patients at NUH and saw Dr Anupriya who confirmed my pregnancy after a transvaginal ultrasound (this is why I insisted I must have a female doctor!).

IMG-20160304-WA0000 (1)1st picture of our little one @ 6 weeks 5 days. Looking at this finally was able to convinced myself that I’m really a pregger now!

Dr Anu was slightly worried about my pregnancy due to my previous miscarriage which was only about 3 months before this pregnancy, hence she ordered for me to come back for another checkup in 2 weeks time to confirm the viability of this pregnancy. I’m thankful for her thoughtfulness, I’d rather be back to see the baby again on the ultrasound machine than to be worrying about whether it will grow healthily in my bedroom.

IMG-20160318-WA0002 (2)

Peek-a-boo at our little bb at 8w+4d of gestation. Look! BB has growth so much from the beanie 2 weeks ago 😀 Now we can see the outline of bb’s head and body!

Version 2

Thank you Daddy God for your divine protection and blessing! Our pregnancy was confirmed to be a viable one at the 8 weeks scan as Dr. Anu was able to detect the strong thumping from BB’s heart! The sound of BB’s heart beating is indescribable – making me a really super happy mummy to be!!

Dr. Anu was very encouraging, and she mentioned that upon detecting the bb’s heart rate at 8 weeks, the chance miscarrying will be reduced to less than 10%. As such, we only need to come back again for the 12weeks scan to check for chromosomal anomaly (aka. down syndrome test). I was really elated to hear the good news, the thought of another miscarriage again was unthinkable – sends chills down my spine! I prayed to God everyday to keep my bb safe and only He could really comfort me. Amen. 

IMG-20160411-WA0004 (2)

I love the 12 weeks scan ultrasound photo! We can see a full body shot of our precious little one 😀 BB’s beginning to look more and more human! 😀 I’ve marvelled at this picture for days and weeks!

Praise the Lord! Melvin and I couldn’t stop grinning as the Sonographer conducts the 12 weeks scan. Our bb even waved hands at us! How cute! Thankfully, the test result was good, and bb does not have any chromosomal anomaly (No down syndrome, THANK YOU DADDY GOD FOR YOU PROTECTION AND GRACE!!) Dr Anu confirmed we have safely past our first trimester, and scheduled me back again 4 weeks later for the 16 weeks scan. (Too long… how I wish I have a ultrasound machine at home for me to stare at bb everyday!) Of course, I wasn’t exempted from the usual morning sickness, fatigue, constipation and backaches but who cares, yeahhhh, I really can’t thank God enough for his protection for a smooth transition into the 2nd trimester!

Week 16 consultation wasn’t such a pleasant one for me, my mood was bad (let’s blame it on the pregnancy hormones). I was initially excited to see my little one and went to the clinic really early with hubby and MIL. Was told we could find out the little one’s gender at 16weeks. However, it didn’t turned out the way we wanted. Dr Anu did a brief scan, but too bad bb was lying faced down/ inwards with legs crossed. As such, Dr Anu wasn’t able to tell us the gender. Not only that, she didn’t even let me listen to bb’s heartbeat… she just said “Everything looks good and fine, I’ll see you in 6 weeks time next”, and rushed off to attend to some operations or something (I heard her conversation briefly over the phone). She didn’t even give me a picture of my bb this time!!! (super disappointed!) While I understand that gynae had to attend emergencies more often than not, but the feeling of being brushed off rubs me kinda badly. Perhaps she had been quite patient and attentive with me for the past 3 consultations, therefore this short 4th consultation left a bad taste in my mouth – let’s blame the pregnancy hormones , as I’d like to think I’m usually quite reasonable and less emotional. Haha! Never mind, on the positive note, let’s still thank God that it’s nonetheless a problem-free check up!

And so, 6 weeks seemed to CRAWLED by… so slowly!!! I wanted to see bb so badly that the 6 weeks waiting time seem like forever to me! Finally on 17 June, we went for our 21 weeks 5 days scan – a more detail one to check for structural well-being of the bb. The 21 weeks scan, similar to the 12 weeks scan, was done by a sonographer instead of the gynae themselves, perhaps because they were more “detailed” scans, and require specialised skills. Anyway, being the worrier, I prayed for an experienced sonographer that will be able to conduct the scan smoothly – and true enough God arranged one for us! I was impressed at how the sonographer was able to identify different parts of our baby’s organs, i.e. kidneys, liver, stomach, bones, muscles, blood vessels, the four chambers of the heart etc… from what seem like a pool of black stuff to us on the ultrasound screen! She said that one needs to study for 6 years before they can become a sonographer, and after that look at ultrasound for years to be able to spot them easily! I’m really impressed by her skills! bb was also cooperative for the scan and stayed relatively still for the scan with occasional waving of  hands and kicks. Everything looks great and normal! Thank God! And finally, the moment we have been waiting for – gender determination!

20161002_223011-2

It’s a boy ! Heeeheee… mummy loves u my little man 😀

The sonographer showed us a little boy’s part on the screen, and even zoomed for us to make sure he definitely inherited his daddy’s male part to make him a little man! It’s a boy! 

IMG_20160617_152151 (1)

Our sonographer was really nice and took a 4D picture of our BB for us at 21w5d. Our dear little one, you have ur daddy’s face shape 😀  Daddy and Mummy were so happy we get to see you today and to see that you’re growing so well!

We thank God that you’re growing stronger with each passing day! Doctor says you became shy after we saw your ‘little man part’ and started to use your hands to cover your face when we tried to take photo of you. It’s ok, mummy really loves you and we’re looking forward to see you on your birthday in October! 😀

Actually, it doesn’t matter to us if it were a boy or girl, we just wish for the baby to be a (1) healthy one with no anomaly, and to grow well in the woob with healthy structural development, a proportional body and good skin (his dad had good skin genes, please grab that gene bb!), (2) good brain development with a sound mind that can absorb wisdom coupled with a kind and humble heart to serve God, and lastly (3) good looks – at least must be pleasant looking and 人见人爱 😀

We’ve decided to name our baby:

Matthew Seng 辛恩泽

Little Matthew, here’s how we’ve come to decide this name for you, and we hope you like it as much as we do 😀

Meaning of “Matthew”
English form of Ματθαιος (Matthaios), which was a Greek form of the Hebrew name מַתִּתְיָהוּ (Mattityahu) meaning “gift of YAHWEH”.  – Matthew, you are our precious gift from God, and we want you to remember that God is your father in heaven and he gave you your life, so live well and live life to fullest to glorify our heavenly father – God will always be with you!
Okay, I wanted to keep the post short, but I was too excited about little Matthew and went on babbling… Nonetheless, a very happy mummy-to-be I am! 😀
Praise the Lord!

Simple things to be thankful for

Life is so unpredictable but I know in every moment God has my back. Amen!

I didn’t wanna share this, but I really wanna get this out of my chest and so, I’ve decided to pen this down brief to get this off my mind. Recently, a long-time friend, let’s say X, whom I’ve known for more than half of my life, did something that totally thrown me off my chair. I had a hard time believing he would actually commit such a stupid mistake, and be so stubbornly irresponsible to continue in his wrongdoings without feeling any remorse – leaving his family bathing in tears and heartaches every single day. Another close friend of mind, whom also know X, even go as far as saying he might be possessed so badly that he’s not a single bit like the person whom we used to know. He’s beyond reasons, and he’s selfishness is appalling.

I am not sure will he ever regret the choice he make this day. But I will pray to God to return him to his senses and let him come to repent his mistakes. Hopefully it will never be too late then.

This episode has taught me yet again how important it is to make God the center of our life. Let Him be the guiding post for us to live our lives each day, we are not immune to sins, to temptation – this is precisely we need to seek God for strength to overcome these temptations. Jesus say we are in the would but not of this world, so we cannot allow the temptations of this world to lure us away from God’s love and grace.

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.””
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I thank God for the sending my hubby back home to me safely everyday. That my family is engulfed in his blessings. The little on in my womb is growing healthy, my family members are living harmoniously together. These simple little things of life are not to be taken for granted. I am at peace because I know He is in control!

 

My first post

Okay, I have left my (quite high paying and glamorous) job for a month already. It’s not as boring as I thought it will be. Guess I’m settling in quite well into my new role as a house wife 😀 (Never would have imagined that a couple of years back when I was busy clinching the career milestones).

I enjoy the time I get to spend to learn more about myself and my family, and more importantly about God. As I thought about the previous me (the one who knows nothing except how to do her job well), I find the current me more fulfilling, and leading a much more meaningful life. I can say for now, that I truly have a life!

Days past by pretty quickly as well. Woke up to prepare breakfast for my hubby every morning (haven’t been doing that since we married one year ago), spend my quiet time with God, play the piano, sing to myself, watch drama or do some reading of random news and books… work on my Korean homework from SKIS, take my much needed afternoon nap (my bb needs it as it is growing bigger with each passing day in my womb), some exercise – swimming or strolling in the park… cook dinner, spend time talking to my mother / mother-in-law… and then hug my hubby when he’s back! Sounds pretty simple isn’t it, but this kinda life makes me really happy and blissful everyday!

Ends up, I’m really much more domesticated that I thought I was 😀

Good job Joyce!